The struggle of starting

After weeks of procrastinating I have finally started the first piece of my ‘Montreal Boroughs’ project. Now, I always have some difficulty starting a new piece, there always seems to be a period of apprehension, but starting the first piece of this series has been exceptionally difficult. 

This ‘Montreal Boroughs’ project is my first large scale project, it will consist of 34, or maybe 35, pieces and that is probably where the extra difficulty of starting the first piece comes in. Knowing that I have to make some decisions that will influence the entire project while creating the first piece have been withholding me from starting that first piece. Even now, with the composition more then halfway done, I’m still questioning some of those decisions, something I usually never do. 

Another hurdle in starting this series is the size of the individual pieces. I have decided to go with 18x18” panels for this project. A decision I’ve made for several both practical and creative reasons. Starting this first piece though, has brought the realization that 18x18” is rather small, especially in comparison to the sizes I’ve been working with recently. This has some creative consequences. I will have to work with smaller prints if I want to at least make a decent representation of the borough. And there is no way I can use even close to all the photographs I have taken. 

Now this isn’t something new, in general I’m not even close to using all the photographs I have of a subject and I’m always faced with the choices of which elements to include and which to leave out. But these choices being so close to the time that I actually took the photographs and the fact that I’m doing a series of 34 pieces where the subject is more similar then usual just makes the decisions seem that much harder. 

And then there’s the fear that at one point I will realize that the subject matter is too similar and that I’ve set myself an impossible goal. I don’t think this will happen, I’ve photographed almost all of the West-island and I’ve found something unique in each borough so far. But it might happen and that’s just one more hurdle I have to take every time I’m working on this.

But even with all these hurdles and insecurities I am still enjoying myself and I think it will make the project that much more satisfying when it’s finally finished. No one has ever claimed that creating art is easy, ok, maybe I have in the past but that was before I started writing about my creative process, it always seems easy in hindsight. That’s why I will keep pushing along taking one hurdle at the time, because slowly but surely I will get to that point where I have 34 finished paintings and it will all have seemed to have been a breeze.